One ‘Rakhi’ Just for Me: A Bond Beyond Blood
By John Aguiar
In the heart of our Goan culture, Raksha Bandhan is far more than a ritual of silk and beads. It is an anchor of belonging. Yet, for many, this day can carry a quiet, bittersweet weight—especially for those who grow up as an only child. I know this feeling well, for I lived it.
From Solitude to Sisterhood
Growing up, I was the only child in my family. There was a certain silence in the house on festival days that others, surrounded by siblings, might never understand. But fate, and the wisdom of our parents, had a different plan.
In our neighborhood, there was another girl, Pournima Naik, who was also an only child. Seeing our shared solitude, our parents made a beautiful decision: they brought us together to bridge that gap. They decided that we should become siblings not by birth, but by heart.
The Thread That Never Frayed
What started as a simple suggestion turned into a lifelong journey. For several decades now, we have celebrated this "thread ceremony" every single year without fail. The Rakhi Pournima ties on my wrist isn't just a tradition; it is a seal on a pact made years ago.
Over time, we have become more than biological siblings could ever be. Our bond isn't just about a festival day; it is about being there for the milestones that define a life.
"Biology may give us relatives, but it is love and consistency that give us family."
The ultimate testament to this bond came during her daughter’s wedding. In our Goan traditions, the role of the 'Mama' (maternal uncle) is sacred and pivotal. Because our bond was so deeply recognized by our families and our hearts, I stepped into that role. I ceremoniously participated as the Mama at her daughter’s marriage, fulfilling the duties and receiving the honors that come with that title.
A Lesson for Every Goan Home
To the parents of an "only child" today: do not let your child feel the void of loneliness. Look around your community. There is always a Pournima for every John.
- Look Beyond Blood: Teach your children that a brother or sister is someone who stands by you, regardless of whether you share the same last name.
- Create Your Own Traditions: If you don't have a sibling, find a bond in a cousin or a neighbor and nurture it with the same respect you would give a blood relation.
- The Power of 'Mama': My experience shows that society and tradition will always make room for a bond that is genuine and pure.
Conclusion: The Eternal Promise
As the years pass and our hair turns grey, the Rakhi remains as colorful as ever. This bond of love continues to thrive, proving that the strongest threads are the ones we choose to weave ourselves.
To my sister Pournima, and to everyone who has found a sibling in a friend: may your bond remain Ghatmut (Unbreakable).
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